At some point I realized verbalizing about my asexuality creates noise in the usual essential quietude of my sexless world view.
3 years ago
Sex-less-ness and Enso
FAIL: Monkey See, Monkey Doo
I've recently noticed some characteristics of the angry asexual in myself. Most of the writing ideas that I'm inspired to post are mostly not positive. It's time for a hiatus.
Here are three posts by Ily and Asexual Love that articulate my feelings on sexuality in general: one on delusion, another on delusion-in-action, and a third on programming. And this post was the wake-up call to my current experience.
Here are three posts by Ily and Asexual Love that articulate my feelings on sexuality in general: one on delusion, another on delusion-in-action, and a third on programming. And this post was the wake-up call to my current experience.
Monogamy & TV
One of the people I met at an asexy meetup referenced some article on the nature of marriage and relationship. After searching online I found a few. Here's one: Is Monogamy Natural?
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I finally sat down to watch some TV with my sister. Two days ago we watched an ABC lineup, all three show were centered on sex. Topping off the night was Cougartown, a show about age and sex. Then yesterday I watched Seinfeld, a favorite, and was incredibly disappointed that it was an entire show dedicated to orgasms. It was a terrible two days. I am experiencing much animosity at the moment.
----
I finally sat down to watch some TV with my sister. Two days ago we watched an ABC lineup, all three show were centered on sex. Topping off the night was Cougartown, a show about age and sex. Then yesterday I watched Seinfeld, a favorite, and was incredibly disappointed that it was an entire show dedicated to orgasms. It was a terrible two days. I am experiencing much animosity at the moment.
What is this?
This is a response to Asexy Beast's post on Asexual Doubt in their entertaining and intriguing series, Things Asexuals Like.
Asexual doubt is a matter of confidence: confidence in oneself in the face of the future, a community, new relationships, and whatever else arises as a challenge, be it psychic/mental anxiety/disorder/confusion, or social or resistance to intimate physicality. (You, for example, have great confidence in yourself as a complete being, and you have worked out and incorporated your asexuality to a sure steadfast, correct?)
When we begin to deal with these challenges doubt plays an important role by raising red flags. The more red flags that arise concerning a particular subject or experience, the more attention is needed in said area.
Asexual doubt is a matter of confidence: confidence in oneself in the face of the future, a community, new relationships, and whatever else arises as a challenge, be it psychic/mental anxiety/disorder/confusion, or social or resistance to intimate physicality. (You, for example, have great confidence in yourself as a complete being, and you have worked out and incorporated your asexuality to a sure steadfast, correct?)
When we begin to deal with these challenges doubt plays an important role by raising red flags. The more red flags that arise concerning a particular subject or experience, the more attention is needed in said area.
Physics: Asexuality
"Asexuality is a description, not a commitment. If it changes in the future for me, then that's that. Either I was wrong about my orientation, or my orientation changed. It is thought that asexuality, like other sexual orientations, can sometimes change, but it is rare, and not by conscious choice. Basically, I'm not going to count on it."
Check out Skeptic's Play post, "Yes I Am Asexual"
Asexuality and "the game"
I ran across this picture on the net today. It seemed relevant to today's post. It was captioned "learning young" (heterosexist humor)...There is no endgame
There is an idea in buddhism that one must strive- or maybe it was "not to strive"- to reach a point where they stop thought-ing. Some call this a state of no-mind, others call it enlightenment. Either way, everything that is done is done naturally, with equanimity. There are no delusional endgames: nothing to fuel ego-grasping...
In this way, I believe, practical buddhism and asexuality go hand-in-hand: there are only joyous adventures to be had without end "games".
Anger and Peace, Beauty in the Beast
I have been sitting zazen often for the past couple of weeks. Just about every morning I wake up and sit and watch my mind for anywhere between 5 and 30 minutes. It has been a revealing practice. I have become increasingly attuned to my feelings and find that there is a lot of anger and anxiety, a continual gushing of hostility.
The reason for all this negative energy is obvious. It has to do with my verve for truth, consciousness, and awareness; this in addition to my recent dabbling with the skeptics, champions of reason and critical thinkers like James Randi, Richard Dawkins, Michael Shermer and their associates and associations.
The reason for all this negative energy is obvious. It has to do with my verve for truth, consciousness, and awareness; this in addition to my recent dabbling with the skeptics, champions of reason and critical thinkers like James Randi, Richard Dawkins, Michael Shermer and their associates and associations.
Pomosexual asexual
I may be part pomosexual. I still have to clear this brainwashing. Once the dust settles I will know, if it ever does. If not, I guess I am once again, pluralist.
Pomosexual: portmanteau of postmodernism abbreviated to pomo and sexual; it is a neologism used to describe a person who shuns sexual orientation labels (such as heterosexual and homosexual), and in turn chooses not to label oneself with a sexual orientation. It is not to be confused with asexuality, which is a sexual orientation used to describe an individual who does not experience sexual attraction
las preguntas del sexo (SEX QUESTIONS)
To do:
1. Play solitaire and sweep mines
2. Propagate the species
~ facebook status
The following is a survey I found at the What do you mean by sex? asexy blog. The author had a lot of interesting responses that, in retrospect make mine seem not up to par. I think what happened here was I just intuited some ideas which I believe are important to conserve as a conscious asexual. My responses are prone to change and I will update and edit as I explore asexuality.
1. How would you define/describe asexuality?
Asexuality is intrinsically vague by its alternormative nature. It is the space between. It is what was there before...
Asexuality to me is getting back to the essence of what makes us human and not animal. I believe asexuality is an ability. For some it is natural, retained from birth through adolescence; these people have not been acculturated to the environment and I do no imply that natural asexuals are dysfunctional. For others alsexuality is realized or slowly realized over time, after several illogical, impressive life events, be they sexual experiences or not.
Nothingness and Asexuality
Meditating into light and mind,
Ava~ realized the essence of nothingness:
The facts arose in her mind:
Our apparatus of sentience is form,
Form shapes sentience--but
Form is inherently empty without value
And that emptiness is only defined by form
Ava~ realized the essence of nothingness:
The facts arose in her mind:
Our apparatus of sentience is form,
Form shapes sentience--but
Form is inherently empty without value
And that emptiness is only defined by form
To have OR to hold? That [ought to be] the question
natalie dee dot com"Lust awakens the desire to possess; and that awakens the intent to murder."
~ The Old Man, Spring Summer Fall Winter
"What goes through your mind when you see an attractive [person]?"
This question was posed to me last weekend. I saw it coming but was still caught off guard--well I guess I wasn't on guard, which is a good thing, I guess. I wasn't thinking about my asexuality the whole time; and looking around at the group, it seemed inappropriate and, frankly, unnecessary to raise a stink about asexuality and my asexuality. Instead, I talked about attraction.
This question was posed to me last weekend. I saw it coming but was still caught off guard--well I guess I wasn't on guard, which is a good thing, I guess. I wasn't thinking about my asexuality the whole time; and looking around at the group, it seemed inappropriate and, frankly, unnecessary to raise a stink about asexuality and my asexuality. Instead, I talked about attraction.
Positive Metaphors: Asexy, Beautiful Garden
This post started as a secondary meme while I was reading the Shades of Gray post Positive Metaphors: Chandelier Culture in which they discuss the asexual community and lack of positive metaphors for the asexual experience. I agree with just about everything in the post. In fact, I wrote a post at Humble Thy Self about the stereotyping that goes on about differentiation in lifestyle, comparing the queer, or, alternormative movement with the tragedy of the 'confused mulato'.
Metta, duh!
"May all beings be happy!"
Wow, how could I have written about anything besides metta in a buddhist blog concerning relationships between sentient beings? Metta is a difficult word despite its simple essence. Good luck trying to find it in the dictionary because it's probably not in there. This is because metta is a concept in Buddhist language- but generally a word that emerged from Eastern thought- that is difficult to translate into English. The closest translation is hybrid word: lovingkindness. I'll take care not to give a concrete definition of this word as most eastern languages, modern and ancient, for example, Pali and Sanskrit depend on vagueness and open-ended sentence structures.
Erasure II: An History
Buddha had a penis
During first year at university, I had the opportunity to fraternize with a person of religious affiliation not of my own. They aided me with some direct experience. At the time I was practicing Buddhism heavily and, in retrospect, I am glad our union was not a single drunken experience. That would have be doubly troublesome. It was a challenge to [maintain romance] in the relationship and it withered within a few months.
During first year at university, I had the opportunity to fraternize with a person of religious affiliation not of my own. They aided me with some direct experience. At the time I was practicing Buddhism heavily and, in retrospect, I am glad our union was not a single drunken experience. That would have be doubly troublesome. It was a challenge to [maintain romance] in the relationship and it withered within a few months.
Erasure: No-Self
"Our thoughts are not our own"
Toward the end of high school, I was intent on clearing and distilling my mind. Some very important events led me to the realization that life, mine and that of most of the people in my environment, isn't ours. It was as though reality was spread upon a stilted foundation. My ideas about reality crystallized over the course of the Buddhism unit of my modern world history class instructed by the man with the white beard and ponytail, Mr. B.
Toward the end of high school, I was intent on clearing and distilling my mind. Some very important events led me to the realization that life, mine and that of most of the people in my environment, isn't ours. It was as though reality was spread upon a stilted foundation. My ideas about reality crystallized over the course of the Buddhism unit of my modern world history class instructed by the man with the white beard and ponytail, Mr. B.
Awakening (There was a crack in the consciousness!)
If you want something, others may want it, too.
This is what the old man said. A monk, a recluse and his young boy live life in a river valley surrounded by mountains miles away from the city. As Buddhists--
[Dogma Alert!]
[Dogma Alert!]
[Terminating word processing]...
[Preparing to enter standby mode]...
Hello everyone. My name is Raymo. I am first-gen Ghanaian-American. And I am an asexual.
This is what the old man said. A monk, a recluse and his young boy live life in a river valley surrounded by mountains miles away from the city. As Buddhists--
[Dogma Alert!]
[Dogma Alert!]
[Terminating word processing]...
[Preparing to enter standby mode]...
Hello everyone. My name is Raymo. I am first-gen Ghanaian-American. And I am an asexual.
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