To do:
1. Play solitaire and sweep mines
2. Propagate the species
~ facebook status
The following is a survey I found at the What do you mean by sex? asexy blog. The author had a lot of interesting responses that, in retrospect make mine seem not up to par. I think what happened here was I just intuited some ideas which I believe are important to conserve as a conscious asexual. My responses are prone to change and I will update and edit as I explore asexuality.
1. How would you define/describe asexuality?
Asexuality is intrinsically vague by its alternormative nature. It is the space between. It is what was there before...
Asexuality to me is getting back to the essence of what makes us human and not animal. I believe asexuality is an ability. For some it is natural, retained from birth through adolescence; these people have not been acculturated to the environment and I do no imply that natural asexuals are dysfunctional. For others alsexuality is realized or slowly realized over time, after several illogical, impressive life events, be they sexual experiences or not.
I fall somewhere between the two camps.
2. How would you define/describe sexual attraction?
Sexual attraction is a biased intrigue in another person. It is an affinity for that which is not oneself. Some seem more attractive because they, the object or person of affection, appeal to certain feelings. For example I am sexualy attracted to peoples with high foreheads because I shared deep feelings with someone who had such that facial feature; I experienced pleasent feelings and reactions while looking at their face.
In another way, more related to intrigue as a basis for sexual attraction, a person may be sexually attracted to someone whom they just wish to figure out. Since we're talking about sexuality here, the sex (phenotypes/genitalia) of affecter is a factor....
For example, the less probable the configuration of body parts, logic, (after verbal communication) and psychic energies of an attractive person, the more "attraction" there is.
It is difficult to differentiate and separate sexual attraction from biological urges, the first of which is bound by social and physical (sexual) conditioning and environment.
As my asexuality was more of a realization than a natural occurance, for me, all of this logic goes into the culmination of attraction. To truly be sexually attracted to someone is a chore, a chore well-worth the effort in the end.
I think asexuals only experience authentic "sexual" attraction.
3. How would you define/describe sexual desire?
Hate to sound like a geek, but:
Sexual desire is a conglomerate of programs written into the psyche by past physical, pleasant experiences. The keyword here is pleasant. These programs run when certain triggers are present in the mind or the environment of the asexual. Everyone, even asexuals, likes pleasant feelings. Some of those feelings may be sexual or just about kindness and compassion or sadistic or masochistic, or aesthetic beauty/appreciation, yes?
4. How would you define/describe romantic attraction?
Romantic attraction is reserved for the pairing-off phenomena in sexual people. For asexuals, romantic attraction can be experienced when there is an adventure to be shared between one or more asexual and non-asexual persons. And this attraction cannot be easily applied to just anyone. Asexual romantic attraction may never end and there usually are no goals or "end-games" that are relatable to, and usually present in sexually-oriented romantic attraction.
Romantic attraction is always stable and mutual or easily reciprocated, without much effort.
5. What are some factors that initially lead you to consider yourself as an asexual?
* NON-SEXUAL BIAS to conversation partners
* NEGATIVE FEELINGS experienced when thoughts possessiveness occured in relationships
* DISCOMFORT and LACK OF LOGIC in societally-mandated, active pursuit of sexual partner
* Numerous NONSEXUAL BUDDHIST ideas and practices
* LOW AMOUNT or LACK OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE and effective, experiencial sexual conditioning
6. How would you distinguish asexuality from a sexual dysfunction such as sexual desire disorder?
I wouldn't care to do that. But for me, a part of my asexuality is about FREEDOM, CONSCIOUSNESS, and AWARENESS.
Sexual Desire Disorder depends on a there being a victim experience. Meanwhile, asexuality is more likely empowering and liberating. I mean there are some tough choices to be made and tribulations to be faced after "realizing" asexuality, but nothing that eclipses the sense of freedom and emotional awareness experienced by ones discovery of asexuality.
7. How might you have described your sexuality BEFORE you came across the term 'asexual'?
Mimicry
Pitiful, pathetic, and inauthentic, raw/base, uncomfortable, nerve-wracking, anxiety-triggering, unconscious MIMICRY.
8. What questions would you use (without describing or using the term 'asexual') to identify an individual who might be asexual but has not yet come across the term?
* Honestly, do you like penis?
* Honestly, do you like vagina?
* Are you a virgin? Is this a choice, problem, or because of lack of interest?
* Were you disappointed by your first sexual encounter? Describe [why?] (questioner pays attention to polarity of terms used in description)
* Will you like to get married one day? Why? (questioner pays attention to logic and polarity of sentences used in answer)
* What goes through your mind when you see an attractive person? (pay attention to hackneyed and inauthentic response, expressions, and lack of sexual descriptiveness)
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