natalie dee dot com"Lust awakens the desire to possess; and that awakens the intent to murder."
~ The Old Man, Spring Summer Fall Winter
"What goes through your mind when you see an attractive [person]?"
This question was posed to me last weekend. I saw it coming but was still caught off guard--well I guess I wasn't on guard, which is a good thing, I guess. I wasn't thinking about my asexuality the whole time; and looking around at the group, it seemed inappropriate and, frankly, unnecessary to raise a stink about asexuality and my asexuality. Instead, I talked about attraction.
I said something like "I take an anthropological approach to attraction. I usually look at the person to see how they're put together as a whole." I tend to pay attention to features on the head, which I guess isn't really attraction, but more like identification and classification (ethnic, ancestral, and geographic). The body part I appreciate most is the nose. I love looking at noses. All kinds of noses: Flat nose, bulbous nose, bony nose, shiny nose, wide based, upturned, low bridge, thin, or hooked... I looove them all. All of them. From all parts of the world.
A quick note, since we're on the issue, err, close: it's human to be racist, and society and recognition call for it. However, I'm not sure Race should have anything to do with civilization; and I do not give creedence to racialism, which is entirely delusional. I think we should all make an effort to learn about phenotypes, skin color, facial features, hair, bone structure etc. Because, it seems we are being dumbed-down by racial classification. I mean really, WTF?! There are more than five races in the world!! Okay ... back to the breath. Then there's the marginalization of people of multiple ethnicities or 'mixed' identity. Okay that was not a note. On we go...
This question was posed to me last weekend. I saw it coming but was still caught off guard--well I guess I wasn't on guard, which is a good thing, I guess. I wasn't thinking about my asexuality the whole time; and looking around at the group, it seemed inappropriate and, frankly, unnecessary to raise a stink about asexuality and my asexuality. Instead, I talked about attraction.
I said something like "I take an anthropological approach to attraction. I usually look at the person to see how they're put together as a whole." I tend to pay attention to features on the head, which I guess isn't really attraction, but more like identification and classification (ethnic, ancestral, and geographic). The body part I appreciate most is the nose. I love looking at noses. All kinds of noses: Flat nose, bulbous nose, bony nose, shiny nose, wide based, upturned, low bridge, thin, or hooked... I looove them all. All of them. From all parts of the world.
A quick note, since we're on the issue, err, close: it's human to be racist, and society and recognition call for it. However, I'm not sure Race should have anything to do with civilization; and I do not give creedence to racialism, which is entirely delusional. I think we should all make an effort to learn about phenotypes, skin color, facial features, hair, bone structure etc. Because, it seems we are being dumbed-down by racial classification. I mean really, WTF?! There are more than five races in the world!! Okay ... back to the breath. Then there's the marginalization of people of multiple ethnicities or 'mixed' identity. Okay that was not a note. On we go...
Asexuality is experienced in many ways. Some people have little or no reaction to physical or psychic stimulation, while, on the other hand, others experience desire and joy and sometimes are physically and psychically excitable. I'd like to think I fall in-between that spectrum, maybe more towards joy for and with others. ...hmm, maybe I do experience attraction... and maybe I always have, but not to the extent that I wish desperately to eject DNA nor to propagate humanity for the sake of tradition--at, least not while I'm in my right mind (I have a very interesting story to tell about nonsensical attraction and pre- and post-asexual squishing; I'll blog it when the time is right, when it comes). I just like people.
All this heterosexual baggage from society, history, biology, and economics/capitalism/religion... uggh sometimes I get the feeling that society wants to inflict on me, and all non-"normative" people, braindamage. Braindamage by conditioning, through direct approaches (SEX SELLS!) and subliminal manipulation (national/standard vocabulary and grammar thought control--through popular books, newspapers magazine... popular media).
I'm just generally intrigued by people who are ... not me--and no, my self-esteem and confidence border narcissistic, I'm fine. That is attraction for me. It's the kind of attraction that's held lightly. With a gentleness, and firmness, that keeps out dualistic thinking. Attraction must not be grasped or else it isn't attraction- it cannot be satisfied- anything more would probably be covetous tyranny, and neither attraction or love. There needs to be space between two things, or persons, for there to be attraction.
To want someone for yourself… To have someone… To claim… "To have and to hold"... hmm, I was hoping I could articulate some poetic, insightful thoughts about these phrases. Maybe we can say “word to the wise” and point to The Old Man’s quote at the top of this post.
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